…”Test Me now in this,” says the Lord of Hosts, “if I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows. Malachi 3:10 (NASB)
Do you have trust issues? I do. I admit it. I never used to at all, but when you’ve been betrayed by someone you loved for the majority of your life, it’s hard not to. My kids wanted me to find someone else to love, but the mere thought of opening myself up to that kind pain again has made such a thing an impossibility.
I’d like to think that lack of trust has never spilled over to my relationship with God, but has it? I’ve seen how He has taken care of me throughout my life. When I was born, doctors told my parents I’d never live to see my first birthday. I’ve seen sixty-five. At eight, I had a horseback riding accident that should have killed me. The horse went under a clothesline, and the barb came an eighth of an inch from my jugular vein. I escaped with a compound complex arm fracture and a lot of blood loss. In my twenties, I had three mini-strokes, and in my fifties that early accident brought on a parathyroid problem that could have killed me fifty years after the fact. I do know how much I’ve been blessed. Angels have surrounded me and kept me from harm under dire circumstances.
So why do I still worry about things as simple as finances? My Father in Heaven owns the cattle on a thousand hills.(Psalm 50:10) He knows my needs, and He has never failed me. People have failed me all my life, but God never has. And He has provided. I’m still hanging in there. If you do the math, it doesn’t begin to add up, but I am still paying my bills. Why then, when I write the tithe check, do I even think, ‘But Lord, if I write this, I won’t be able to pay my mortgage?’
The Israelites had the same problem. They’d seen the marvelous things God had done in getting them out of Egypt. They’d seen His provision in the wilderness. Yet they grumbled and complained about the manna. Water flowed from the rock, yet the minute Moses turned his back, they decided to make themselves an idol. It’s mind boggling to realize their crazy attempts at self-sufficiency. Why else would anyone make a god of gold unless it was to somehow be able to control the god?
Lord, please keep me from such foolishness. As one of the people Jesus helped said, “I believe, help my unbelief.” I say, “Lord, I trust You. Help my lack of trust. I admit I’m prone to the lack. But I don’t want to succumb to the temptation. In my weakness, I pray Lord, please give me Your strength.
That’s the difference between us and the Israelites. We have direct access to the Father through Christ, the Son. We don’t have to wait at the bottom of the mountain wondering if God can hear us. We know that He does. We don’t have to wonder what God is like. We know because Jesus told us. God is good. He loves us so much He sent Christ. We can trust Him.
Teresa Pollard Author
Teresa G Pollard
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